IX. what to expect

and i know it seems like im walking the wrong way

but the shoes ive been given dont fit my feet.

and how am i meant to take the shoes off?

id rather be without them than walking the wrong way.

If i could draw you a picture to relate my meanings

id put it under my skin.

sitting infront of another screen.

again not sober 

having an amzing case of deja vu but not sarcastically.

the flowers next to me have wilted more.

two hours earlier,

watching people and not having to think.

happy for the most part.

a friend and i talking about loss

of another friend,

and how not to lose them.

noticing without being noticed.

each person acting the way id expect them to.

this is hard when you don't have any idea how a person is supposed to act.

and so i try to figure them out before i expect anything.

this works.

and so im happy with the company i have.

and i cant expect anything from someone i dont know.

i could either expect it all, or nothing

but the cups half empty.

sometimes someone can act a way i dont expect them too.

i like it when people hate the same things i do.

i miss my friends.

the old friends.

the old ones ive got now but younger.

i miss dancing on couches

laughing about a black eye

breaking bottles

swimming across streets

riding cars

split lips

wrecking hotel rooms

i miss being there at the drop of a hat and never having to wonder.

I miss sharing capsicum spray.

loyalty for only one reason.

today i tattooed 'paradise' to the knuckles of a friend. was surprisingly fun. knuckles are a cunt.

and i know it seems like im walking the wrong way

but the shoes ive been given dont fit my feet.