V

the flowers in the cup next to me are wilting. 

One has fallen in and is half submerged.

the stems were too short.

cant afford to be picky when stealing flowers.

When I come across something i don't want to see, i kinda get a feeling of guilt because i know i probably wasn't meant to see it.

This is ridiculous and logic sets me straight.

and stops me in my tracks.

It would suck if god was my house mate.

It would suck if my house mates could be as self riotous as god.

It would suck if god had a furry fuck faced dog named homer that tends to fuck most of home living up for myself and my cat.

...mainly my cat. but you mess with her and its gonna bug me out.

thank fuck my house mate isnt god and i can threaten her dog with torture.

A dude i went to school with and would refer to as a friend, 

not close, 

but a friend, 

passed the other day.

Another friend said in reference to him. 

'even now we can look back and know he was a hero'

- in relation to how he handled and how gracious he was in the few months prior.

I hope his family are doing ok.

I wont be able to attend but ive been thinking.

in my few years it seems that it has only ever taken the good and some of the most amazing people i have met.

i still havent heard of it taking a bad person.

this fucks with me.

Ive lost my grip on a lot of things.

Im losing touch.

I missed a friends show tonight.

I couldnt afford the entry.

I can afford food but not rent or debt repayments.

I cant afford to keep my thumbs.

i need to clean this room.