I should be a lot of things im not.
im tired.
more tired than ive ever been before.
the more i think, the more i write in this and the clearer my thoughts become.
i never needed my thoughts to be clear.
its hard to find meaning or worth in anything these days.
and what makes it worse is that im always looking more and more.
all my life all ive ever heard is
'you remind me of someone'
'do you believe in past lives?'
'you have an old soul'
'...your eyes.'
all i see in my eyes is decay.
and i have always wanted to know why others cant.
i thought i was losing myself before.
that was nothing.
im struggling as hard as i can to remain.
i want to.
its just gotten harder to stop myself before i start now.
i cant find any reason to try to stop.
other than want, ive been blinded.
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